Welcome

My name is Carissa, I come from a small town in northern Alberta called Fort McMurray. A few years ago I decided to uproot my life and move to Calgary, it was probably the only good decision I have made since I started making my own decisions at the young, impressionable, and naive age of 17. 

I have struggled through life since then, I think everyone does. Of course I wouldn't be human if I didn't think my problems were the end of the world, sometimes I forget that others have it so much worse than I. 

I really fuck myself over, again, and again, and again. I wish I could convey in words what goes on in my mind over the course of one day. I think this is what I have tried countless times to do. I've had close to 10 blogs, started numerous diaries, spilled my guts to so many people who probably don't even give a shit but feel pitifully obligated to nod and agree and oooh and ahh, and i'm honestly not sure.... But I think this is some kind of weird cycle.... if it is, so be it. 

If you feel dysfunctional, if you're mad at the world, if you have an opinion, or if you need somewhere safe to be yourself, you can come here. This is me being myself. This is me not giving a fuck and just saying what I need to say. Unfortunately I have found myself in a rut in life where there are very few people I can vent to and be my true self around. Funny how you go from having "best friends" to having no friends. Weird how people seem to disappear suddenly when you need them the most. 

But this is life, and it almost never goes our way. It sounds really lame, and some days I can't even get myself to pretend to believe it, but the shitty is shitty, and if the shitty wasn't so shitty, you wouldn't truly appreciate the good stuff when it comes along. And sometimes you only need that one little glimpse of the good stuff to give you that push forward. So keep moving forward, that's the least you can do. And honestly, you owe it to yourself.